*Disclaimer: Rob Liefeld is not in any way affiliated with the following article, I can only assume that this approximately replicates his..."artistic" processes. I do not condone anyone using the following method, ever-ever. Reader assumes any and all risk of bodily harm incurred from reading this article.
How to Draw Women the Rob Liefeld Way: Knifetits!
The most important thing to remember when drawing women is never look at an actual woman, you might start to realize what human anatomy looks like, and you certainly don't want that. This is a mistake many beginning artists make.
We will be drawing the female character, Knifetits. (What? You don't believe Knifetits is a Liefeld created character? Go ahead, look through every, single Liefeld drawn comic and prove me wrong. You will soon find out that you can't look at Liefeld's "art" for more than two minutes without your head actually exploding. Just take my word for it...Let's move on...)
First, draw the right arm directly in the middle of the page. Give it lots of detail before moving on to the rest of the drawing. Don't worry about the hand for now, (or, ever. C'mon, when has anyone ever bought a comic based on the fact that the cover character has realistic hands?) This is a strong character, so give the arm lots of rope-like muscles,.
Then, draw the head kind of, you know, attached to the arm. Give her a jutting jawline, super-sexy eyes, pouty lips and angry eyebrows. Yeah, women look like that, sure.
Now, give her lots and lots of crazy hair. This is the Nineties, and we need to be extreme! Remember, extreme hair is very, very important on a comic book character. It is so important that you should probably spend more time drawing the hair than anything else.
Okay, now for the fun part. We will put her in the classic Boobs and Butt Pose. This is where you can see her boobs and her butt, at the same time! Give her gigantic boobs (don't forget the knives!), and a nice round butt. Don't worry about connecting them, we have a little trick for that later. And huge thighs, she's strong, and strong women have huge thighs, again, with those cool, rope-like muscles.
Give her a wad for a hand and put a wicked sword in it. Oh, how about putting the sword in her hand in a very awkward way, like upside down? Aw, yeah, now we're getting extreme! Put a lot of nicks and scratches in the sword, because you know how bad women are at taking care of their swords, ammirit? Besides, she's got a couple more on her back, so, it's all good.
Here's the special trick for that pesky area between her boobs and her butt, put some pouches there! Brilliant! And that leg and arm look kind of boring, so put some pouches there, too.
Ink and color. Remember, when inking, excessive lines are your friends. If you make a mistake, just add some more lines, which will be so awesome, the reader will be too distracted to notice. Like a herd of zebras.
Now, color the pouches brown, and everything else like it's made out of chrome, all shiny and extreme, especially her butt. Shiny butt, that's all it takes, and no one will care that she doesn't have a spine or internal organs.
Put her in front of some ambiguous, extremely unlikely background, like, say, some exploding hotdogs.
Finally, add an extra-big, super-pretentious signature that looks like it's on like a piece of flying shredded paper. Booyah!
There you have it. Knifetits!
Next time...How To Draw Comic Book Character Heroes The Rob Liefeld Way: Rob, the loincloth-wearing, super-huge-chest guy with all the swords.
This is just so perfect, I think I'm going to cry.
Because women don't need to have real butts, or internal organs, or spines. We need a perfectly-flat area between our breasts and our HUEG thighs, which we then bend to give the illusion of having an ass.
On May 17th, 2013 03:12 pm (UTC), (Anonymous) commented:
I will recommend this to all my watchers on Deviantart. This is what we have been missing out on, and it will take us to next level of artistic integrity! I also think you have an extremely well designed character and strongly recommend you send it to Hollywood. I can see the new movie franchise already: "Knifetits and the Wiener Terrorists".
On May 18th, 2013 01:08 am (UTC), (Anonymous) commented:
This is brilliant. And terrifyingly on-the-nose. And incredibly, incredibly funny.
The only nitpick I would have is that I think "Lolfeld" is more of a huge-improbable-guns guy than a sword guy, although having backup emergency swords on her back is pretty accurate.
On July 24th, 2013 09:26 pm (UTC), (Anonymous) commented:
I saw this on Eschergirls, and I swear, before I saw the "Lolfeld" sig, I thought it was one of his. I think that says something about him, and the industry as a whole, huh.
Anyway, this has to be the best Liefeld parody I've seen to this date! I lost it at the "special trick for that pesky area" XDD
On August 10th, 2013 06:16 pm (UTC), (Anonymous) commented:
Excellent tutorial! I like how you can see the tits and the ass at the same time. It's like disobeying the laws of physics or just anything that makes sense. Makes me feel like a rebel. And besides who doesn't like a girl with rope muscles...? This guy! That's who! And this character is so deep, I mean what kind of chick puts knives on her breasts?! She's got issues so I'd love to get to know her...Does she like balloons and long walks on the beach? Questions that demand answers people!